LIFE Lessons – Essay Category First Runner-Up
University of Maryland
Hometown: Gaithersburg, MD

My father always told me to be ready for anything, but I never imagined I would have to be prepared to live without him by age twelve. I thought my life was over when he died because I could not envision a future without my hero, but his death eventually taught me how to live.

As a child, I was daddy’s little girl; he was my best friend, mentor, and support system. Even though he suffered from physical and mental illness, he made sure I knew how much he loved me. A couple of weeks after his fifty-second birthday he died from complications of diabetes. After his death my entire world collapsed because my heart and spirit felt empty without his presence.

Unbeknownst to my family, my dad accumulated an extraordinary amount of credit card and hospital debt the last few years of his life. His bipolar disorder led him to believe that he would live forever and there would not be any consequences for his actions. He never acquired life insurance and left our family with nothing but debt and broken hearts as we were forced to struggle emotionally and financially.

My mother’s credit was too damaged from the debt to be approved for loans to help finance my education, and there was little money leftover from expenses to put towards a college fund. I was accepted to my dream school in upstate New York but chose to attend my second-choice school because I did not want to put too much financial pressure on my mom. I took out several loans to fund my education, but by sophomore year the financial stress was too much for me to handle. I made the decision to leave school and return home, so that my mom and I could rebuild our lives.

My family’s life would be incredibly different if my father had life insurance because we would be free of the financial burdens we have endured for the past nine years. My mother would have used the money to pay for my education and to pay off his bills. I would not have felt like a financial burden while in school, and I would have been able to complete my studies without having to take a year off to work. Most importantly, my mother would not have developed Bell’s palsy from the financial and emotional stress from my father’s debt.

I believe that everything happens in life to teach us lessons, and my father’s death showed me that life is a gift not to be taken for granted. Our financial struggles have made me a stronger and more independent woman as I learn to take ownership of my life.

There is not a day that goes by that I do not miss my father, but I know that I owe it to myself to live my best life. After years of self-doubt, I know that I am loved and blessed because my father’s spirit lies within me.

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